Tales from the Cafe

So most of the time customers are alright. You get the occasional mother attempting to juggle three screaming children and hasn't had her coffee fix, and you can recognise that when she gets a bit snippy that she's just not having a fun time. 

But sometimes you get the people who are just incapable of understanding that the Earth revolves around the Sun.

This is for those people.

You're products are too expensive.

Okay? I'm not forcing you to buy anything? You walked in here, you know where the door is, just walk back on out. We aren't selling medicine, or staple food items, you don't need it, don't buy it. I don't set the prices. I'm not going to be offended if you decide not to get anything.

My hot chocolate is too sweet.

You're an idiot and I hate you. I hope you get diabetes. 

My drink isn't hot enough.

So this can kind of go two ways. Coming from a person who likes their drinks hot enough to cause third degree burns if you spill any on yourself, I can understand that if you order something and ask for that then by all means let me know if you want it hotter. A woman the other day told me to wait until the milk starts to smell (well she actually said burn the milk, but that's what happens, it smells like the cow that gave the milk died and is coming back for it's final revenge) but whatever, that's how you want your drink it's all good with me. 

But don't come back up flying off the handle because you forgot to say you wanted your drink hot. If not for the fact that I wasn't the one that fucked up your order, then because you probably don't want to piss off the person who decides if you get your fix. If you come up acting like a complete Joffrey then I'm going to make sure that your milk smells like a dead person. Enjoy!

What do you mean I have to wait!?

See all those other people sitting down, they wanted things too. In fact, they wanted so many things that  it's going to take me around ten minutes to get to your order. And y'know I can't produce food out of thing air because it's the first of the exceptions of gamp's law of elemental transfiguration (if I don't start referencing Harry Potter more often then I'll feel like I did something wrong). When you start acting like a child because no one can understand your pain in waiting ten minutes for that ice cream sundae you look like a giant cunt. No one's impressed by your ability to chuck a temper tantrum. Even the customers that I served after you think you're a fuckwit. 

People just need to calm down. If ordering a drink sets you on edge then probably don't leave your house. Ever. Buy a coffee machine and start making things yourself. Yell at your cats for fun. 

So I also wrote a post for my uni blog about whether studying a language is right for you. I don't know how I feel about it so I figure I'll post it here and y'all can tell me what you think.