So I was having a conversation with a mate of mine today and they brought up the fact that a mutual acquantince who has no active part in my life can't seem to stop question why I keep putting holes in my face. Apparently I was feeling particularly sensitive about the issue.
I can completely understanding that people are probably going to look at my face and probably have questions about most of my piercings. for the most part people are generally nice, just relatively curious, however every once in a while you either get a complete arsehole, or someone who's just downright stupid.
This is for them.
1. Oh wow you have a lot of piercings!
Your powers of deduction are matched only by Sherlock Holmes. I don't know what it is, but some people just seem to need to this out. For anyone that's read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, there was an theory for this, put forward by Ford Prefect:
'At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.'
Some people are yet to prove this theory wrong.
But I guess it just comes down to a shock. People get lost for words and say the first thing that comes to mind. Unfortunately it's not incredibly insightful.
2. Did that hurt?
Yes.
I was stabbed.
With a needle.
Pain is involved.
3. So are all of your piercings on your face?
The problem here isn't so much the question as it is the fact that it's always followed by a glance up and down. And always focussing on one spot.
Questions about my junk should be preceded with a drink first.
But alas, the answer is no. Everything is from the neck up.
I once made the mistake of asking my piercer how they are performed. I'll go so far as to say it involves a scapel. The rest can be left to your imagination.
4. Why would you do that to yourself?
This question comes in many forms. The difference is generally in the tone. But there is usually only one way the question is interpreted and it's 'what the fuck is wrong with you?'
This question is one of the most frustrating because it's not something I've done for other people. I did it for me. I love piercings and tattoos. I find them fascinating. And it's an interesting way for people to express themselves.
I don't know why I have to justify that.
5. You'll never be able to practice law with those in/what happens when you get sick of them?
Really? Thank you. This is equally as frustrating as four. I'm well aware that I probably would never be able to practice law with facial piercings, as dumb as I sometimes look, I am not completely oblivious to the world around me.
But the problem I have with this statement isn't that I think that society is wrong for not accepting me as I am and all that bullshit, I'm not that naive. The problem is in the permanency. Piercings aren't permanent. They come out. The hole heals. And Bob's your uncle.
I had a guy with two full sleeves come up to me and say 'you're an idiot, at least I can cover mine up!' Yep. I'm the idiot. I could wake up tomorrow and take out all of these and most people would never know I had them. I hope that Southern Cross tattoo brings you as much joy and happiness in 80 years as it does today. (that wasn't an intentional dig at people with Southern Cross tattoos).
Most, if not all, of my piercings were done spontaneously. Better that I get spontaneous piercings than spontaneous tattoos.
I can hear you all questioning how long it'll take me to regret that Deathly Hallows tattoo. To that I say, I don't regret it yet, so that's all I've got to work with right now.
So yes, you're not wrong, I won't practice law with those in. But I'm not practicing law at the moment.
Basically it comes down to the fact that the piercings are what suits me right now.
And why the hell shouldn't I do them, while I still can?
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